Joyful Heart

Our church uses the curriculum published by Children Desiring God.  For first grade, they are implementing the ABC’s of God.  Our first grader has been learning characteristics of God, such as God is Creator, Glorious, Wise, Almighty, Sovereign, Provider, Attentive, Unchanging, etc.  Today, she came home form Sunday School with this lesson – ‘N is for Never-Tiring.’  As I read it, I was encouraged to remember that when I am feeling weak and tired and my strength is gone, God never grows tired or weary.  He never slumbers or sleeps.  He is the One who gives rest to our weary souls.

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
Isaiah 40:28

My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
He who watches over you will not slumber.
Indeed, He who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
Psalm 21:2-4

Psalm 27:2 also states…
In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for He grants sleep to those he loves.

There is a footnote for Psalm 27:2 referring to ‘for He grants sleep’ saying that some versions say ‘for while they sleep He provides for ‘.  This would then read, “For while they sleep, He provides for those He loves.”  How freeing that is!  Now, this does not mean that I can just sleep the day away  -That would be a completely different issue!  He does give each of us gifts and abilities that we are to use for His glory.  He has given us work to do. But, when I am weary and in need of rest, He has boundless energy and continues to provide for me as I sleep.  Then, I can face each day with the strength and endurance that He provides.

Lord Jesus, help me to rest and trust in You.

I saw this slogan twice this week and it really grabbed my attention.  I saw it once on a billboard and once on the back of a magazine.  It is a slogan put out by a local hospital, designed for connecting you with an online tool for assessing your risk for heart disease, stroke, etc – a basic heart check.

As a homeschooling mom to four little ones, three of whom have birthdays in December and January, I think (no, I know) I’m feeling overtired.  I have my proof.  Over the course of the last three weeks, I have been forgetting the simplest of things, have felt pains in my chest  and dizziness (Yes, I went to the doctor and they say that I am fine.  I also took the online heart assessment and I am not at risk.), am just getting over a cold that wiped me out for two days, can’t seem to focus on tasks at hand, and have a sense of being overwhelmed.  I am the type of person that presses on until a job is complete, that continues to work on something that I think must be done -even if it means I get less sleep.  This is fine, if done from time to time and not repeatedly.   I think the last couple months with Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthday parties, and just the day to day grind has worn me down.  My ability to make simple decisions, my productivity level, and my interactions with my family are being adversely affected by my lack of sleep. 

I am posting this for accountability.  I need physical rest and spiritual rest.  Yes, my list of things I want to accomplish are a mile long, my day to day list of items that have to get done are never ending, and my children’s requests for time and activity are beckoning.  I feel like I need a week long vacation, just me, alone, to catch up on some of the tasks at hand – putting all else on hold.  However, seeing as that is impossible, I am going to attempt to try something else.  For the next week, I am going to strive to be in bed and going to sleep 2-3 hours earlier than I have been.  If that means I don’t go to my monthly girls night out, so be it.  If that means the dishes are left in the sink until morning, okay.  If that means putting our kids to bed earlier so I can get school ready for them for the next day, done.  This is going to be a challenge for me- a change in my mindset over priorities.  This is designed for my physical rest.  

For my spiritual rest, I desire to get up at a set time each morning this week to sit at my Savior’s feet.  I want to read, pray, worship, and listen – without my littlest one sitting on my lap, reaching over to pat the Bible (as sweet as that may be =).  I have  been so busy serving and being a Martha that I have forgotten how to be a prayerful, worshipful Mary.  Oh, how quickly we succumb to our old ways.

Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

This is my week for a true heart check.

Our two oldest girls are involved in the Book It program this year for the first time.  They kept their sticker charts up to date the first month, placing one sticker on the chart for each book read.  They were motivated and excited to get a pizza prize at the end of the month once they read their required number of books.  Well, I went to fill out their certificates and on the back of each one it said to write in the child’s name, homeschool educator’s name, and the name of the homeschool.  Name of the homeschool? 

Well, let me just say, we tried to come up with something quickly since the girls were waiting for their pizza prize, but it actually took us a week before we thought of the right name.  And the name is… Joyful Heart Academy!  The name, truly, should not have been that difficult to come up with.  I already had developed early childhood/preschool curriculum as my oldest child reached each stage.  The curriculum is also aptly named – Joyful Heart Learning (for 2’s), Joyful Heart Bible and Rhyme (for 3’s), and Joyful Heart Character (for 4’s).

Why ‘Joyful Heart’?  No, the name wasn’t chosen because our home is so full of joy each day (although it should be) =)  However, we do desire our children to know Christ and His Truth, to cherish His Word, to be salt and light in this generation, and to have their hope and anchor firmly planted in Christ.  The joy comes in knowing the Lord and following His commands.  Here are just two of many verses that reflect this in Scripture…

Psalm 19:7-8
The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,  making wise the simple.
The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes.

Psalm 16:11
You have made known to me the path of life.
You will fill me with joy in Your presence,
with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.

Here are also a few Scripture based prayers for our children, no matter where they are schooled…

Colossians 1:9b-14
…we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Philippians 1:9-11
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

Father of Life, draw me closer.
Lord, my heart is set on You.
Let me run the race of time with Your Life unfolding mine.
And let the peace of God, Let it reign.

Oh Holy Spirit, You’re my comfort.
Strengthen me.  Hold my head up high.
And I stand upon your truth – bringing glory unto You.
And let the peace of God, Let it reign.

Oh, Lord, I hunger for more of You.
Rise up within me.  Let me know Your Truth.
Oh, Holy Spirit, saturate my soul.
And let the Life of Go fill me now.
Let Your healing power, bring Life and make me whole.
And let the peace of God, Let it reign!

(From Hillsong)

God placed this song in my mind while I was in the waiting room, before my first eye surgery last week.  I was singing it in my mind as they put me to sleep.  It was comforting to me and helped me to focus on Christ and not on the fears that I had felt previously.  When I awoke, I cried tears of joy as I could see things in the distance as I opened my left eye and glanced around the recovery room.  I hadn’t been able to see that far away, without glasses, since the second or third grade!  I was excited as I left the surgery center in the early afternoon that day, but as day turned to night, fears crept back in.

Actually, the week between my first and second eye surgery was filled with emotional ups and downs.  It all started that first night home.  Our 8 month old was crying in the middle of the night again.  My husband went to get her as I started to fill her bottle.  To my surprise, I could no longer see the lines and numbers on the side of the bottle. That one simple task, and not being able to perform it for my baby, brought me to tears that night.  My eye was still quite dilated from the surgery and my husband tried to reassure me that everything would be better and I would be able to see more clearly in the coming days.

The next morning, at my first eye check up after the surgery, my husband and I  both realized that there had been a big misunderstanding.  Before surgery, my ophthalmologist had told us that I would need reading glasses once the surgery was over.  Being in our 30’s and not having any experience with reading glasses, we just (wrongly) assumed that meant I would simply need glasses for reading and no longer for distance.  Well when they removed my clouded lens and implanted a new corrective lens, I lost all of my ability to focus on objects from my hand to my eye.  So, before surgery, if I couldn’t read something, I could get closer or move the object closer to me and I could then see it clearly.  Now, no matter how close I move an object toward me, it doesn’t help.  It can actually make it more blurry!  I was shocked at my new condition.

In my day of despair (which I hate to admit), I told my husband that I felt ‘rendered useless.’  I could take care of myself, mostly.  I could do laundry (since I knew which buttons to push without having to see them), and I could wash dishes (hopefully well enough).  I could also rest and listen to songs and sermons (one bright spot!).  However, I had a long list of things I could no longer do, such as read a book to my child,  view a computer screen, read my watch or any other clocks, read to distinguish my eye drop medications, use the oven or microwave, read and follow a recipe, write lists (which I am always doing =) ), do school with my kids, change any dirty diapers,  fill my baby’s bottle, etc.  Even my baby’s little face was a blur to me when I was holding her!  So, strip a mother of her ability to care for her family and what do you have?   Hmmm…It depends on where her focus is…And thankfully, God changed my focus over the course of the week.

The first day after my surgery, I rested a lot and began listening to a series of talks by a retired missionary named Otto Koning.  The series is called The Pineapple Story.  It took a couple days to be able to listen to all of it, but even after the first talk, God was already convicting me!

I attempted to scribble some notes…
- Surrender your rights.
- Rejoice.  Don’t waste good problems!   (Faith in action)
- Resist the devil.   (Authority in action)
- Pray.  (Dependence in action)
- Love your enemies.   (Forgiveness in action)
- Meditate on Scripture.

And I surrendered….
Lord, Jesus, I surrender my rights to my eyes.  All I have is Yours.  I release my fears to You.  You are in control.  I would prefer to be able to see clearly again, but I want Your Will more.  What do You desire to teach me during this time, Lord?  May I bring glory to you whatever the outcome may be!  Although I feel ‘rendered useless’, help me to rejoice.

And I gave thanks…
Thank You, Lord for allowing my husband to take off time from work to care for me and our family.  You strengthened him to take on all roles, including chef and homeschool teacher.  Thank You for the opportunity to listen to worship songs and sermons.  Thank You for rest.  Thank You that I can see better in the distance now than I ever remember- without my glasses.  Thank You for  allowing me to feel the reality of Your Peace and Presence during this short time of uncertainty.  Thank You for allowing this procedure to be safe and routine in America and that my eyesight may be restored in this day and age.

I am currently typing slowly, taking many breaks.  Things are blurry as I alternate between a temporary pair of reading glasses, pulling them on and off, but I am at least able to do this much!!  There is some uncertainty as to the final outcome of my vision.  Progressive bifocals are most likely in my near future and will have good results.  We’ll have to wait at least a month or so, as my eyes continue to heal, before I can get a prescription.  Until then, I will take it day by day and choose to rejoice in my Savior.  God is good – all the time.

Let the peace of God, let it reign…

In science, our girls recently learned that the roots of a tree intertwine and can actually spread out underground wider than its branches.  Though unseen from above, the roots are important and support the tree.  If for any reason tree roots are damaged, tree health can be put in jeopardy.

Bitterness is a root in our hearts that can grow unnoticed for quite some time.  Eventually, it causes damage to fellowship, grieves the Holy Spirit, and stagnates spiritual growth.

In Carolyn Mahaney’s book, Feminine Appeal, she writes,  “So how do we know if we have become bitter? If we habitually review the offender’s wrong, if we replay the episode over and over in our minds, if we wallow in self pity or withdraw our affection – chances are, we have succumbed to bitterness…”

Ephesians 4:29-32 exhorts us…
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,
but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs,
that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander,
along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Mahaney explains, “We deal with bitterness by cherishing the experience of being forgiven by God and by forgiving the wrongs committed against us… So instead of dwelling on how we’ve been wronged, let us entreat the Holy Spirit to help us look at the cross.”

Lord Jesus, please help me to show kindness and compassion, to be able to forgive, bearing with others in patience and in love as you have loved and forgiven me.  Turn my eyes upon you and off of myself, entrusting you to change my heart.  Dig up these roots of bitterness.