Joyful Heart

My response would have probably been a firm ‘No.’   However, I was not the one in position to execute the decision and so I left it up to him.   I heard his voice gently speaking to them.  A little later, I heard the clanking of bowls and spoons.  Some, looking in on this scene, might have said that he had given in to them and that he was showing them that they could get their way when they complain loudly enough. 

But I saw a loving father demonstrating God’s grace in a tangible way.

The loud complaining was a ‘But, Daddy!’ and tears - over something as simple as not being able to have a snack before bed.  A request that is sometimes answered by a yes and at other times, due to the lateness or other circumstances, receives a “No, not tonight.”   Yes, they responded poorly to our answer and should have been disciplined appropriately and not have been able to have a snack.  

And so enters unmerited favor from their daddy.   After talking with the girls and explaining that they should not have a snack becasue of their poor response, he then extends grace by forgoing punishment and allowing them to have a small snack.

This showing of grace points me to Christ and His grace that was extended to us.  May their earthly daddy’s small acts of grace towards them point our little ones’ hearts and minds to their Heavenly Father as well.

For it is by grace you have been saved,
 through faith—and this not from yourselves,
it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. 
Ephesians 2:8-9

All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
and are justified freely by his grace
through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.   
Romans 3:23-24

Taking our ant problem and making it FUN!

“Ants have three body parts. They have a head, abdomen, and thorax. There is one queen in a colony. They have jaws. They use their antennae to smell. Some ants have stingers. Some ants are brown and some are black. Most of the ants are females. Forager ants collect food. Some of the ants are builder ants. They fix the nest if some of the dirt falls. The male ants meet with the queen. The male ants have wings. After the flighting, the male ants die. The special part about the queen is that she is the only one that lays the eggs.”
by A - age 6

making an anthill with tunnels and rooms for all the ants…

our edible ants….

We also READ a ton of ant books that we gathered from the library, watched The Magic School Bus has Ants in its Pants (way too many times, LOL!), counted out raisin ‘ants’ with tweezers into muffin tins, made a construction paper ant, and read what the Bible has to say about ants …

Proverbs 6:6-8
Go to the ant, you sluggard.  Consider its ways and be wise!
It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest.

How come I don’t seem to realize that I am relying on my own strength, and not on my Lord, until the consequences become so evident in my life that I can’t ignore them?

Our pastor is teaching through the book of Colossians and is stressing the importance of having Jesus at the core of our lives.  (By the way, you can access all of the sermons here!)  A couple weeks ago, he began the sermon by stating, “Life falls apart without Jesus.”   And, oh boy, does it ever.  I do have Jesus in my life.  He is my Lord and Savior.  But, I do not always go about my day dependent on Him.  Here are some real examples of where I am seeing this right now…

• School plans and other family decisions that need to be made feel as if they are looming over me.  I work through different possibilities - but sense fear and trembling. 
• I have child training stresses.  I thought we had addressed these  before and were back on track. 
• I have recurring sin issues.  Why can’t I break the cycle and move past this? 
• And a new sin issue…God recently revealed to me that I have been harboring unkind thoughts and have let bitterness take root in my soul.  I thought I was working through this all right on my own.  

Okay,anyone else notice a pattern here?  A difficulty, that God in His wisdom allows, is brought into my life and I react.  I attempt to do something - on my own.

Our pastor said we should have three confessional cries and I can honestly say that these are three confessional cries breaking forth from my heart to God right now….

1) “I’m dependent on You.”
  I can’t make it on my own and I need God’s help!

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.  I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
(John 15:1-8)

2) “I need Your power.” 
I am inadequate.  I can not rely on my own strength and wisdom. 
I need His!  I need the power of the Holy Spirit working in my life.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults,
in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong. 
(2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

3) “I need You more than anything.”
I need Jesus!

I need you more, more than yesterday.
I need You more, more than words can say.
I need You more than ever before.
I need You Lord. I need You Lord.

I can not fathom how to accomplish school each day with a 1st grader, preschooler, toddler, and infant - BUT Jesus, can.

I can not adequately reach the heart of my children, to raise them up to live for Christ, and to obey His commands - BUT Jesus can.

I can not learn from my mistakes and completely snuff out the sin areas in my life - BUT Jesus can.

I can not cultivate a tenderness and true forgiveness for the person I am holding grudges towards -BUT Jesus can.

It is a foreign concept in our culture, but I must admit that I can NOT do life without Jesus.  I just can’t make it on my own.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart 
and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him
and He will make your paths straight.
(Proverbs 3:5-6)

Through different situations, God is making me more dependent on Him.  That’s a good thing!   May there be less of me and more of Him as I grow in Christ. 

I have no problem with insects and spiders being outside.  That’s where they belong - in nature.  Let every insect and spider be forewarned, however, that once they crawl into our home they are traveling into dangerous territory! 

We had our lawn service spray the foundations of our home a couple weeks ago - to keep the insects and spiders OUTside.  Well, all this week we have been seeing ants INside on our main floor and up in our bedrooms.  Argh!  The lawn service came back out and reapplied the spray and left a note stating, “Please remember:  This is a barrier treatment.  It not only stops insects trying to come in, but also prevents them from going out…”  So, since the ants were here before they sprayed, they are now stuck inside our home and have no place to go, except up and inside our house.  Just what I wanted to hear =)

So, to eradicate the ant colony(ies) we need to get some ant bait/traps.  (Love, if you are reading this, please stop by and get some ASAP =))  Until then, I have been seen on my hands and knees, squishing the ants, sweeping multiple times, and removing rugs or anything else that would normally be on the floor in the areas where we have spotted the little guys.  I have been doing this so much in fact that one day this week our toddler was calling to me from the basement playroom and asking, “Smoosh ants, Mommy?”  Um, yes.  The kids have even got in on the ‘fun’ of finding them…

You know, I am going to great lengths to make sure we get rid of the ants in our home, but what measures am I willing to take to eradicate the sin areas in my life?  One of the areas that God has recently pointed out to me is my use of time -specifically my time spent on (uh, oh) the computer.  Do I really need to check my email every time I go to the office to get something? Must I check the homeschool forum to see if any additional answers to my question have been added -again?   Do I have to check your blog to see if you have posted any new entries for me to read ?  The answer I am hearing - No! At least not as often as I have been.  Nothing is wrong with these things in and of themselves.  I need to have support and correspondence with other moms, but I also need to set some limits so that I can better manage the affairs of my household.  

Maybe I should place my Bible or a verse to memorize near my computer and read that instead.  Then, I could go read a book to my children, sit on the floor and play a game with them, play cars, etc.   I want to build strong and deep relationships with my children.  That doesn’t just happen by chance.  I have to make my little ones a priority over those times of ‘quick’ checking of my email and what I am discovering are actually a few moments of trying to escape my responsibilities.

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.
Ephesians 5:15-17

Some days just start off on the wrong foot.  I get to bed late, wake to a crying baby wanting to feed earlier than normal as well as a toddler who wakes an hour earlier –no Bible reading, no time to think before my feet hit the floor and I’m off and running through my day.  I can either 1) shirk back under the covers and pretend I don’t have to face the day or 2) pray, rise up, and give praise to God.  Now granted, it may take me an hour or so to get to the point of praying and praising, but I highly recommend the second option as opposed to the first.

A lot of days lately, I have noticed that I am getting up and going, but, sadly, with a grumbling spirit.   I need to intentionally pause to pray as I rise and to thank God that He goes with me and before me, that He is a Holy God who cares intimately about every detail of life.  He knows all about what I must face today -the sibling squabbles and whining, the multiple attempts to calm a crying baby, my fears of inadequacy as a parent, my difficulty in trying to juggle or balance the needs of each child with the needs of myself, others, and things around our home, etc. etc.  If my focus is rightly on Jesus my Savior, He grants me a renewed sense of peace, strength, and energy amidst what can otherwise feel like chaos.

Portions of Hosanna by Paul Baloche…

Praise is rising, eyes are turning to You
We turn to You
Hope is stirring, hearts are yearning for You
We long for You
‘Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your presence, all our fears are washed away
Washed away
Hosanna Hosanna
You are the God who saves us,
Worthy of all our praises
Hosanna Hosanna
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here Lord Jesus
Hear the sound of hearts returning to You
We turn to You
In Your kingdom broken lives are renewed
You make us new . . .

Hebrews 12: 1-3

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,
let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame,
and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men,
so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Thank you, Lord, that when I see You,
you grant me strength to face the day.

I thank God that He has given me a very patient, loving, tender hearted, servant hearted, wise, and godly man to be my husband and the father to our children. God is faithful.

On May 15, 1993 (15 years ago today!) Chris and I were married.  Chris was 21 and I was just 19.  Looking back, it is hard to believe that we were married so young, but leading up to that day, we had already dated for five years.  I have known my husband for over half of my life!  What a blessing.

I was reminiscing today with the kids,  looking at our wedding album and humming a song that was played at our wedding…I Will Be Here by Steven Curtis Chapman.

Fifteen years later, we now have four more beautiful blessings from our Lord.  They are 6 years, 4 years, 2 years, and 3 months old.  They all absolutely adore their daddy.  I love watching him interact with each of them - whether it is reading the Bible with them before bed, rough housing with our little guy, dancing with the princesses, lovingly holding and comforting our littlest one, or taking the time to sit down and pray and discipline them.  He is faithful in his role as their daddy to them.

Thanks be to our faithful God!
Happy Anniversary, Love!  I love you and feel blessed to be your wife.

Love,
Misha

I have a small spiral bound notebook that I keep with my Bible.  I like to write down verses from Scripture that really speak to my heart and that I want to reflect and meditate on more.  I seem to reread these more when I am feeling especially anxious, weary, or under a spiritual attack.  You might call these God’s love notes to my weary and faint heart.   Below are just a few verses (emphasis added is mine).  I am posting them here so that I might have just one more way to speak them to my heart.  May you let His words encourage your soul as well….

Psalm 55:16-18
But I call to God,
       and the LORD saves me.
Evening, morning and noon
       I cry out in distress,
       and he hears my voice.
He ransoms me unharmed
       from the battle waged against me…

 Psalm  55:23
Cast your cares on the LORD
       and he will sustain you;
       he will never let the righteous fall.

Psalm 68:19
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior,
       who daily bears our burdens.

Ephesians 6:10-11
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
Put on the full armor of God
so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.

Psalm 105:4
Look to the Lord and His strength.  Seek His face always.

Psalm 116:5-9
The LORD is gracious and righteous;
       our God is full of compassion.
The LORD protects the simplehearted;
       when I was in great need, he saved me.
Be at rest once more, O my soul,
       for the LORD has been good to you.
For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death,
       my eyes from tears,
       my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before the LORD
       in the land of the living.

Psalm 118:14
The LORD is my strength and my song;
       he has become my salvation.

Psalm 63:7-8
Because you are my help,
       I sing in the shadow of your wings.
My soul clings to you;
       your right hand upholds me.

Psalm 121:2-3
My help comes from the LORD,
       the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
       he who watches over you will not slumber;

Psalm 62:5
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
       my hope comes from him.

Psalm 29:11
The LORD gives strength to his people;
       the LORD blesses his people with peace.

Lord, Your Words are the healing medicine that my faint heart needs.  You are my strength, my protector, my sustainer, my rest, my hope, my song.  To You belongs all praise.

Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Yes, you read that correctly -
A lesson FROM my two year old, not a lesson FOR my two year old.

Whenever something isn’t working right, our little two year old guy brings it to us saying it is ‘boke’ and to ‘fi  it’ (translations: “Broke.” and “Fix it.”)  Often it is a toy that needs the batteries replaced.  Today, I specifically remember him saying that two times, but not for toys.  This morning, he pointed to one of our lights in the kitchen.  It has burnt out and needs replaced.  He wanted me to turn it on and I told him that it couldn’t be turned on because it was broke.  He quickly replied back, “Ba rees!”.  I tried to explain that it didn’t take batteries to fix it, but that we needed a new lightbulb.  I don’t think he quite got it.  Anyway, tonight, at church, he was in the nursing room with me and his baby sister when he noticed that there was a TV.  (We are blessed at our church to have a nursing room with a TV hooked up so that nursing moms can still watch and hear the sermon on Sunday mornings while they care for their littlest ones .)  Well, you guessed it, the TV has not been working for a couple weeks.  I told him it was broke and he thought we could ‘fi it’ with ‘ba rees!’  Too cute. 

While I was thinking about this tonight, I thought, ‘Wow.  Wouldn’t it be great if we could fix everything with batteries?  Just switch out the old batteries when they are used up and replace them with new?’  I don’t know about you, but as a stay at home mom to four little ones  five and under, I am feeling like my ‘batteries’ are pretty worn down right now.  I see it.  I feel it.  I hear it in my voice.  I’m tired and at the end of my energy.    

But wait!  Whose strength am I relying on?  Whose ‘batteries’ have been charging me to get up and go each morning (and to keep going throughout the day and into the night)?  Hmmm.  I have been doing lots of ‘good’ things that do indeed have to get done for my family or for church, but I have not been making time for what I know I need first thing each and every day in order to complete them to the best of my ability and for the glory of the Lord.  If I am honest, I would have to say that I have been lax in my time spent with God each day - the Source of my strength.  I need to go make a point to read, and pray, and fall at my Savior’s feet. 

Do you not know? 
      Have you not heard?
       The LORD is the everlasting God,
       the Creator of the ends of the earth.
       He will not grow tired or weary,
       and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
       and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
       and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
       will renew their strength.
       They will soar on wings like eagles;
       they will run and not grow weary,
       they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31

But because of his great love for us,
God, who is rich in mercy,
made us alive with Christ
even when we were dead in transgressions
—it is by grace you have been saved.
Ephesians 2:4-5

But now in Christ Jesus
you who once were far away
have been brought near
through the blood of Christ.
Ephesians 2:13

Read these verses in context: Ephesians Chapter 2

Amidst endless questions, toddler tantrums, diaper changes, middle of the night feedings, and cloudy thinking due to lack of sleep, God has placed a song of worship in my heart the past few days. We sang this at church this past Sunday and I have not been able to get it out of my mind. I’ve been singing the chorus (since that is what was so captivating about the song for me), but I thought it would be good to look up the words to the rest of the song as well. I came across the following You Tube video of the song and listened, sang, and worshipped with my 2, 4, and almost 6 year old around the computer screen. Indescribable by Chris Tomlin . . .

The Creator of the universe sent His One and Only Son into the world to live among sinners and to die for sinful men. You saved us when we were still rebellious towards you. You are amazing God. YOU are AMAZING, God.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless,
Christ died for the ungodly.
Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man,
though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:6-8

My Lord, You are …..
A -AMAZING
B - Beautiful
C - Compassionate
D - Deliverer
E - Everlasting
F - Faithful and Forgiving
G - Glorious
H - Holy, Humble
I - Indescribable
J - Jesus
K - the King of kings
L - the Lord of lords
M- Mighty and Merciful
N - Near to the broken hearted
O - Omniscient
P - all Powerful
Q - the Quieter of my soul
R - Righteous
S - Savior
T - Truth
U - Undefeatable
V - more Valuable than anything
W - Worthy of praise
X - Excellent
Y - Yearning for me to bow all my life before You
Z - Zealous in pursuing me

What joyous heart preparation for celebrating Easter this coming weekend!
You are Amazing, God.